5:30 pm Saturday: Kreuz Market, Lockhart, TX: The McCoys lose to the Hatfields

We’ve been to the Hatlfield’s (Smitty's), now the McCoy’s. Smitty’s was small and local. Kreuz Market is definitely big and new. But it does its best to recreate the community room atmosphere of the old-time BBQ joints. Unfortunately, its best is nowhere near good enough. Hands down, Smitty’s wins.

The Kreuz beef ribs were actually pretty good, second only to Louie Mueller. Here they used the short rib, which is the first time Steve has encountered this heretical, yet intriguing, variation on this trip. But the brisket had an odd rubbery consistency and it was too salty.

This, coupled with an odd, molasses-redolent sauce, it gave the meat a strange and unwelcome Asian orientation. The rest have been fatty, juicy pieces of meat that melt in your mouth. Not here. At Kreuz it was as if they’d cooked the deckel only, not the entire brisket, and then pressed it under a weight. Very industrial deli, and definitely not what we were looking for.

The sausage was ok, but had only half a mouthful of oil and not nearly as much flavor as City Market. It would’ve been nice anywhere else, but when you opt to play in the big leagues, you need to come with your A-game. This was definitely a farm-team kind of product.

They also lost major points because they had no sauce (a point on which they clearly pride themselves), but ironically, theirs is the first brisket that needed sauce. Steven declares that he resents their “no sauce” policy because he feels they are imposing their BBQ will on us, the BBQ public. An unforgivably arrogant act.

He might be taking this too seriously, or maybe he’s just still operating on the level of the reincarnation conversation from the last place. He does that.

For her part, Kim declares that the Wonder bread, which she’s easily eaten two loaves of today, has been remarkably consistent throughout the journey.

By the end of the meal, it was a non-verbal, primal mastication fest. Just lots of grunting, groaning and hand gestures, yet beautiful in its own apocalyptic way.

Final words for the day came from Jen: “Arnie, are you seriously still eating?” as he dug into his second rib with a glazed ‘damn the arteries, full speed ahead!’ look in his eyes. And with that we head back to our lakefront condo for a glass of wine (no more food) and hopefully a sunset.

The rating: Kreuz Market is a fine place to stop if you happen to be passing by, or live next door, but not worth a detour.